West Staines Massive BOYYYYYYY!
Yo, I'ze be eer wif my main man, ee be none udder den da Secretary General of da UN: Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Gali. (sic)
Yeah baby! Today I am going to grab my official copy of Ali G : Da Complete Second Seazon (sic) on DVD. I am celebrating the fact that i got a new roomate yesterday. His name is Andrew and he sorta looks like Stone Cold Steve Austin, but he is a really chill dude (Especially after I put his candy ass in the Rock Bottom) Okay...Okay... Okay, so nobody watches wrestling anymore I know, but I thought it was kinda funny. This is what makes my new roomate so great:
I decided that the night before my 11:00am appointment with him, that it would be a great idea if i were to go out to the bar, get wasted, pick up a woman and bring her back to my place to "talk". This did not work so well in the morning, because she come into my room the next morning frantically saying this: "Oh My God!, Some guy was just knockin on your door and I was smoking POT!" I am pissed at this point because :
1. This bitch had the audacity to smoke that disgusting shit in my house
2. She didn't even come in to wake me up after he had come to the door ....she waited til he was about to drive away.
3. I saw what she really looked like w/o beer goggles on. I'm thinking Grace Kelly and she looks more like Grace under Fire.
4. She spilled a fucking wax candle on my carpet and blamed it on a dog that i didn't have!
I say "Answer it dammit"... She continues to stand there like an idiot! I get up and chase this guy out in the parking lot. Thank God he was as desperate as I was to get that place rented out. I try to explain why she is in the house and why it smells like it does to him, he just laughs it off coolly as if to say "Don't worry about it bro." I melt.... Just kidding I am not a fag... I hate guys, I LOVE WOMENNNNN!!!!!!(view askew 1995)
He walks into the house and loves it instantly (because it's phat) and I knew he was the right one after the 18 ex-convicts who came to see the house, and I asked him to move in with me. All my bloggers are gonna meet this guy for sure, because, get this... he says to me " Got any more pot?" CLASSIC
Yeah baby! Today I am going to grab my official copy of Ali G : Da Complete Second Seazon (sic) on DVD. I am celebrating the fact that i got a new roomate yesterday. His name is Andrew and he sorta looks like Stone Cold Steve Austin, but he is a really chill dude (Especially after I put his candy ass in the Rock Bottom) Okay...Okay... Okay, so nobody watches wrestling anymore I know, but I thought it was kinda funny. This is what makes my new roomate so great:
I decided that the night before my 11:00am appointment with him, that it would be a great idea if i were to go out to the bar, get wasted, pick up a woman and bring her back to my place to "talk". This did not work so well in the morning, because she come into my room the next morning frantically saying this: "Oh My God!, Some guy was just knockin on your door and I was smoking POT!" I am pissed at this point because :
1. This bitch had the audacity to smoke that disgusting shit in my house
2. She didn't even come in to wake me up after he had come to the door ....she waited til he was about to drive away.
3. I saw what she really looked like w/o beer goggles on. I'm thinking Grace Kelly and she looks more like Grace under Fire.
4. She spilled a fucking wax candle on my carpet and blamed it on a dog that i didn't have!
I say "Answer it dammit"... She continues to stand there like an idiot! I get up and chase this guy out in the parking lot. Thank God he was as desperate as I was to get that place rented out. I try to explain why she is in the house and why it smells like it does to him, he just laughs it off coolly as if to say "Don't worry about it bro." I melt.... Just kidding I am not a fag... I hate guys, I LOVE WOMENNNNN!!!!!!(view askew 1995)
He walks into the house and loves it instantly (because it's phat) and I knew he was the right one after the 18 ex-convicts who came to see the house, and I asked him to move in with me. All my bloggers are gonna meet this guy for sure, because, get this... he says to me " Got any more pot?" CLASSIC
posted by the diz at 9:34 AM
1 Comments:
LoL-that's quite possibly hilarious! I love the Grace vs. Grace comparison-very witty. You didn't tell me you brought home a busted-ass-lookin' ho?(that's GB for uncivilized lady person) Well congrats kinda...("That's like being the coolest kid with DOWNS SYNDROME!"-Waiting) J/K-I'm glad you had your time to perpetuate eternal dizzination.
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