Forgetting how to say Goodbye
In my life, there are things that I remember and there are things that I forget. I remember the relationships that I have had with the people who have touched my life. I remember the lessons I have learned. I remember the good times when we laughed, the bad times when we cried, and all the enigmas in between. I remember The way I used to look into your eyes and try to transmit messages of love to you without saying a single word. I remember the days we had in summer on the front stoop and the way you warmed me up when it snowed in Winter. Spring trips to the park with the children; The first time I took the babies out for Halloween in the fall.
I remember when you waited by the window. I remember when I could see only you. You could see only me. I remember feeling like you were the one. I remember your skin, your smell, your breath, and your smile. I remember and miss all these things, but I realized that I forgot how to say "goodbye."
What keeps us on the phone for so long? Why do I keep answering your calls? Why do I drive by just to see your car? I missed you.
I just forgot that it was time to say "goodbye." I don't want to. God it hurts so bad, but this time I know it's for real. My chest hurts everytime I think of you. I think of you so often too. I need to stop needing you. What you did to me, it hurt me worse than you will ever know.
So it's time to say "goodbye."
You weren't perfect, but I took you as you were and loved you. It's not that I don't want to love you anymore, My body, my soul, and my heart just won't let me do it. Julia, I don't love you anymore. Saying Goodbye to you is the hardest thing I have ever done, but you said goodbye a long time ago. It's time to heal. As hard as it is to do, I forgive you. Move on with your life and become something. Those kids need you now more than ever. Don't abandon them.
goodbye to the life we had that I tried to save
goodbye to the laughter we shared
goodbye to the family we tried to have
goodbye to the pain
goodbye to the tears
goodbye to our love
"goodbye."
current music-
Bittersweet Symphony- The Verve
Simple Kind of Life- No Doubt
Saying Goodbye - Sugarcult
I remember when you waited by the window. I remember when I could see only you. You could see only me. I remember feeling like you were the one. I remember your skin, your smell, your breath, and your smile. I remember and miss all these things, but I realized that I forgot how to say "goodbye."
What keeps us on the phone for so long? Why do I keep answering your calls? Why do I drive by just to see your car? I missed you.
I just forgot that it was time to say "goodbye." I don't want to. God it hurts so bad, but this time I know it's for real. My chest hurts everytime I think of you. I think of you so often too. I need to stop needing you. What you did to me, it hurt me worse than you will ever know.
So it's time to say "goodbye."
You weren't perfect, but I took you as you were and loved you. It's not that I don't want to love you anymore, My body, my soul, and my heart just won't let me do it. Julia, I don't love you anymore. Saying Goodbye to you is the hardest thing I have ever done, but you said goodbye a long time ago. It's time to heal. As hard as it is to do, I forgive you. Move on with your life and become something. Those kids need you now more than ever. Don't abandon them.
goodbye to the life we had that I tried to save
goodbye to the laughter we shared
goodbye to the family we tried to have
goodbye to the pain
goodbye to the tears
goodbye to our love
"goodbye."
current music-
Bittersweet Symphony- The Verve
Simple Kind of Life- No Doubt
Saying Goodbye - Sugarcult
posted by the diz at 6:09 PM
3 Comments:
What can I say? This is written beautifully...I told you that you could give Brandon Boyd a run for his money...but really. I miss ya, we need to hang out more. You're one of my best friends and we're always too busy to talk or see each other..let's change that, shall we? We both have more time on our hands now apparantly so we really have no excuse.
I love you!
wow. that son of a bitch almost made me cry! whew.
great entry christopher, i think we can all take a little from that. sometimes it's hard to let go of someone who's said goodbye a long time ago, i know it. sometimes you just dont want to believe it and it takes something to bring it all into focus.
hang in there, you'll get the relationship and happiness you deserve, with someone who will be just as invested as you are.
This bulletin on MySpace was tailored by me, just for you. The title was the 11 Rules of MySpace, I added this rule for you. Sorry a little unrelated but something had to be said to the attention whores that are taking over WhySpace. Hope it makes you smile!
12. STOP POSTING BULLETINS ASKING WHO WANTS TO FUCK YOU/THINKS YOU'RE HOT/WANTS TO BE YOUR VALENTINE/ETC. ETC. If you had that shitty of a childhood where you didn't get the love and affection you feel you so deserved that you have to FISH for it on MYSPACE of all places, maybe you should seek professional help. Not only is it TRAGICALLY desperate, but annoying! If you want to know if someone likes you or wants to have sex w/ your slutty ass, ASK THEM. Don't send it in a bulletin you send to all of your "friends". It only makes you look like a whore.
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